What To Expect

The excitement for this trip has been building and building inside of me.

It's fascinating, all of the different realities, countering dreams, countering realities, etc... that wash over me at any possible time of the day or night. And still it's the excitement and purpose that permeate every step of it.

Do I think I'm going to change the world? A continent? In 3 months? How about 6 months?

No.

But I believe I'm going to change somebody's world.

And this world (the whole thing) is better when we give anything (no matter how small) for the purpose of making someone's life better.

The past couple of times I've been to a fast food restaurant there have been homeless people sitting out front. So I bought some food and dropped it off with them as I was leaving. The first time I did this, when I climbed into my car, I cried.

It was a ridiculous 2-second cry. Really, it just stopped me. And it wasn't out of pride, or joy, or even sorrow for the person, it was because it hit me how rarely I've done that. It was the simplest thing on the planet to do, even with a struggling bank account and running a little late for work, it was so easy. And yet, how often does it happen? Well, it's happened since, and it will happen again.

I find myself struggling with pride over it, as though I've done something great. But anytime that starts to come up reality hits pretty hard, pretty fast... No, something great would be empowering him so that he never has to wait for someone to drop off a few burgers on their way out the door. What am I saying? I'm not sure.

But, do you know what changed? In these instances? I would like to think the people I helped are different because of it... but I know who really changed...

I did.

So I'm going to Africa. To my western mind it's synonymous with adventure, wildlife, danger, suffering, hunger, need.... even missions (I called my old youth pastor and told him I was becoming a cliche: An Africa Missionary (...he hasn't called back)).

And what do I know I can count on? Can I count on an entire continent changing because of me? A continent that since 1955 has had more than 1.3 trillion dollars of foreign aid (yes, I said trillion that's twelve zeros... a million million) poured into it in the hopes of ending it's poverty (we can go into the politics of that another time, or not... but the real changes are made by the people there, not by the money, at least not the way it's been handled in the past). Can I count on headlines across the world reading, "Shad Changes the Face of Africa!"

Am I so vain? So patronizing?

I hope not, but I'm sure, that in giving what I have to give, and in changing what I can change, that probably the biggest change, will happen in me. So it would probably be far more accurate (though just as unlikely) for a headline to read, "Africa Changes the Face of Shad."

I know I've already been changed just in preparing for it. And really, it isn't about me and it isn't about Africa. It's about love. Love for God. Love for people. God's love for people.

---------------

Our generation is going to go deeper and further with God than any other people ever have, in the history of this planet.